one day, i will describe these days as me freedom.
“i lived out of a suitcase
and wore the same outfits for months at a time;
i went where i wanted
and visited friends
and made new friends.
i didn’t share
and i tried not to be afraid.
it was 2016,
and i owned the fucking world.”
i’ll tell the story of Mike
and how, at 26, i realized i wanted to marry a man
not because i loved him
and not because i loved the future i saw with him
but because he’s who i was with
when marriage seemed like the next thing.
it’ll be a favorite parable of mine,
one friends and children and friends of my children will roll their eyes at.
“a almost missed this,”
“i was standing at the gate in o’hare
and i knew i was deciding my life.
go back, and i’d be compromising and going back to him, for him,
for the rest of my life.
get on the plane, and I’d be free.”
there is more to this story,
but it will keep for now;
i have to go.